Psalm 37:4 (ESV) Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

We have been looking at two basic paradigms for prayer as identified by Larry Crabb in his book, “The Papa Prayer.” The paradigm that is far more commonly accepted among Christians today is what he calls the “Get Things from God” paradigm. The second paradigm for prayer, he calls, “Get to Know God Better.” 

We have looked at eight assumptions regarding both paradigms and compared them. We have looked at what these two paradigms look like in our actual prayers. We now assert that the second paradigm for prayer is the only one that has a Biblical basis.

The only appropriate focus for prayer is a relational one.

Having a relationship with a personal God, hungering to know God better, was anticipated by the prophets.  

Habakkuk 3:17–18 (NIV)

¹⁷ “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, ¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.”

Having a relationship with a personal God, hungering to know God better, was taught by Jesus 

John 14:20 (ESV)

“In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you.”

Having a relationship with a personal God, hungering to know God better, was practiced by Paul.

Philippians 3:7–11 (ESV)

⁷ But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ ⁹ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith

— ¹⁰ that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹ that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

The Amplified was written to help us understand the many nuances in the Greek language.

Look at how it translates Philippians 3:10 Amplified Bible (AMP)

10 [For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [[a]which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]

 

So you see, this paradigm sees prayer as a unique opportunity to get to know God better, to surrender gladly to His will and to depend on the Spirit to advance His will through our way of relating to others.

 

How do we shift our paradigm of prayer?

SHIFTING OUR PARADIGM OF PRAYER

Ok, if the purpose of prayer is to know God better, then where does our petitions, our asking of God come in? Relating to God is the point of prayer, and petitioning God is one privilege of prayer.

The order matters. 

FIRST RELATE TO GOD, THEN ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED 

We ask well of God only if we first relate well with God. We do not relate well with God when we begin our prayers by tuning in to what we want, to what we believe will fulfill our lives and make us happy, and then going to God to ask for it. 

We do relate well with God when we do the four things that build any relationship: 

    1. get real about who we are with someone we trust,

    2. show genuine interest in who that person is, 

    3. own up to whatever we do that damages the relationship, 

    4. and honor our relationship with the person as our unrivaled priority.

Translate those four elements into our relationship with God and it looks like this:

THE PAPA PRAYER

    P: Present yourself to God without pretense. 

Be a real person in the relationship. Tell Him whatever is going on inside you that you can identify. 

    A: Attend to how you’re thinking of God. 

No pretending. Ask yourself, “How am I experiencing God right now?” Is He a vending machine, a frowning father, a distant, cold force? Or is He your gloriously strong but intimate Papa? 

    P: Purge yourself of anything blocking your relationship with God. 

Put into words whatever makes you uncomfortable or embarrassed when you’re real in your relationship with Him. How are you thinking more about yourself and your satisfaction than about anyone else, including God and His pleasure? 

    A: Approach God as the “first thing” in your life,

as your most valuable treasure, the Person you most want to know. Admit that other people and things really do matter more to you right now, but you long to want God so much that every other good thing in your life becomes a “second-thing” desire.

Do this and you might develop relational prayer. And when you begin to understand that relational prayer must always come before petitionary prayer everything you ever thought about prayer may change.

Remove relational prayer from the center, and every other kind of prayer goes bad. 

Worship becomes blasphemy-we reduce God to our errand boy; He’s there to serve us. 

Thanksgiving becomes a disguised expression of entitlement-we thank God for what we think He really should have given us anyway. 

Intercession is rooted in self-interest-we plead with God on behalf of family, friends, government, and church leaders with our purposes and comfort in mind. 

And petitions, even apparently legitimate ones such as a loved one’s salvation or a child’s health, are fueled by the energy of a demanding spirit. We hear ourselves presenting reasonable requests to God. He hears us whining like spoiled kids, “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” We have no controlling thought of advancing God’s kingdom or of enjoying our privileged relationship with the King.  Self-interest rules again.